Junk of the Heart and Mind

A kind of world that is inside my head, a 22 yo girl and a freak reader.

Terlupakan
  • A : Selama ini sebagai orang ekstrovert, aku selalu merasa bahwa kesepian itu hal yang menyakitkan. Ternyata aku salah karena kesepian itu sifatnya sangat subjektif. Dan aku baru tahu kalau ada hal yang lebih menyaktikan ketimbang kesepian.
  • B : Apa itu?
  • A : Terlupakan
  • dari sebuah obrolan pagi dengan teman.
Eid

Tahun ketujuh setelah Bapak ga ada.
Sepi. Selalu kangen sama Bapak kalau lagi kumpul-kumpul keluarga, kalau liat orang-orang muterin kampung sekeluarga gitu. Kangen masa-masa di rumah banyak tamu, kangen pergi-pergi sekeluarga ke rumah temen-temennya Bapak. Kangen Bapak sih intinya :”

Tahun kedua setelah Simbah ga ada.
Sepi. Ga ada lagi kumpul-kumpul keluarga besar Mulyo Karso. Ga ada lagi makan ketupat bareng-bareng dan ngumpul sama semua sepupu ponakan segala umur. Kangen rame-ramenya. Kangen Simbah juga yang selalu sayang sama cucu-cucu dan cicit-cicitnya :”

Sesepi apapun tetep bersyukur sih udah dikasih ketemu sama Ramadan dan Idul Fitri lagi. Semoga masih diperkenankan ketemu Ramadan dan Idul Fitri tahun-tahun selanjutnya aamiin. Bersyukur juga masih dikasih Ramadan dan Idul Fitri full di rumah, tahun depan semoga iya juga hihihi bagaimanapun selalu ada yang bisa disyukuri kok kalau mau dan bisa membuka hati dan pikiran.

Well, Eid Mubarak everyone.

Reuniting

It’s been so long since I wrote a kind of diary and here comes the moment worth typing. Junior high school reunion today. Met a bunch of good old friends that I used to know in my early teenage, people I used to laugh with and sometimes laugh at, people I used to spent my half a day with, learning things, learning life. Hahahaha my junior years were full of color and stories worth telling, from funny to sad to happy moments with them.

We met again finally after couple of years and here we are, same faces, taller heights, some fatter others thinner weights, some darker others lighter skin color hahaha but the laugh and smile are never change. I remember them and it’s good to know that they remember me too, with all the jokes and stories involving us. It’s good to be remembered, noticed.

We exchange greetings and handshakes and coupe of questions about how we do now and there we are, trapped in the old days of junior high school, talking and joking and laughing like we always were, except the smokes (the boys are almost all smoking). We retell some good old stories and jokes and asking how do some of us do now and laugh and eat and drink and all.

Some of them asked me how do I do now and some who knows more about me asking when will I take the TKD and I was just all smiles hahahaha dry smiling. Some of them reminding me about some jokes we used to exchange back on that time and I couldn’t believe thet remember that. Funny yet annoying, just like those time. Then, Deka, out of nowhere told them about my old story involving our high school mate, which they exactly knew aaaaaaaaaaaand I was just that shock and embarrassing fufufufu why on earth she told that to them, it’s been over for so long, years ago yet she told them though. Hufeeet aaaaaa I wish I could just hide somewhere at that moment.

We, I and Deka stayed until almost all our girl-friends already going home, accompanying Narita actually, since she didn’t quite comfort because it’s her first time meeting them all after that year she moved out to Bandung. We just listened what they talked about because we couldn’t manage to involve into one, some of them keeping contacts and talk about and we couldn’t catch up the topic. And finally, we go home after those I-don’t-know-what-I-should-do moment and blah it ends. We exchange goodbyes and high-fiving anybody remains and off we go.

Meeting them reminds me of my junior high school life, reminds me of the skinny yet chubby-cheeked teenage girl wanting to be notice by others, reminds me of the naïve teenage girl thinking she knows the world, reminds me of the old me. I always grateful to have such friends like them who gives me so much stories worth telling to my future children.These kiddos are a bunch of fools yet I am happy to be surrounded by them.

7-9 C SMP Negeri 9 Yogyakarta 2007.
Jog, July 2014.

catatanbesarku:

itsyourdistraction:

Palestinian lady collects gas bombs fired by Israeli army. She grows flowers in these bombs.

I love everything about this.

menghapus kejahatan dengan cinta

(Source: hopeful-melancholy)

gigihistheman:

zenpencils:

Brené Brown: THE WOMAN IN THE ARENA

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly!"

(Source: zenpencils.com)

Dapet dari ukhti aulianurfathin :))

A reminder that Al Quran is the best of all guide and indeed Allah is near.

I notice you, but what could I do?

Hey, I see you again this morning. I see your staring at me from a distance if I’m not mistaken. It’s good to see that you’re doing well. You grew up being such an attractive guy, did you know that? You always be that attractive guy for me though.

Seeing you again drifting me back to my early teenage memory, when I was still that naïve little girl who wants to be notice by the world. I haven’t moved out yet that time, I haven’t met another and another and another guy, and there you were, the center of my spinning world, did you know that?

You know what, I always fall for someone I know, someone I befriended. Not the acquaintance but real friend that I used to talk to every day, someone I came to trust. And sometimes, I am trapped in just being the friend, but once in a while I met another guy again.

Did you know that I fall for you once in a while? Seems like you were the first ever boy that I notice. I liked you, liked the look of you. I used to want to talk to you at that time, but then I moved out and I met another and another guy again who made me fall with and it drifts you aside. Yet I couldn’t forget somebody told me that you noticed me too.

We never ever met again by time I moved out of town. I never hear a thing about your growing up. And I grew up being a different girl that I used to be back then. I’ve seen the world from a different perspective and here I am again, back to town and seeing you also from a different perspective.

We still never talk. You never made an excuse to make it possible. You just stared at me and once in a while I caught you. I want to know more about you, filling the gap after all this time we separated by distance. I know you notice me and I do notice you too but then what could I do?

reacaraksa:

nyhmelheim:

The wait has begun.

2 0 1 6 . lama sekaliii :___(

reacaraksa:

nyhmelheim:

The wait has begun.

2 0 1 6 . lama sekaliii :___(

asieybarbie:

ignore anyone who tells you otherwise.

Hey, it’s July 13th again!

Happy birthday to you, I wish you all the happiness and success in life ahead.Happy birthday to you, I wish you get wiser and skinnier and funnier and better in all the good things you developed.Happy birthday to you, be more patient and stay as you are.Happy birthday to you, be mature, be closer to Allah.Happy birthday to you, and all the silent prayer I wish for you (and me, too).Happy birthday to you, happy getting twenty-two.Happy birthday to you, happy happy birthday to you!!

No phone call, no cake, no gift. I am sorry if I could not be like many other girlfriends that your friends have. I am sorry I can’t manage to surprise you just like you did back in May. I am sorry I can’t buy you fancy gift.
All I could manage is just that picture above, as simple as ever. I am sorry if it’s not good though, it’s a work of an amateur, in her first attempt to make such edit heheh hopefully you’ll like it.
No sweet writings or sayings, it’s all I could manage to give you. Thank you for your patience and all the efforts you manage to us to stay together. Happy twenty twooooo, we’d same age finally.
Well, last but not least, once more,Happy belated birthday to you Brosup Arvian Sandhika Pratama!!Stay as funny as ever, okay?
Sincerely,yours.

Hey, it’s July 13th again!

Happy birthday to you, I wish you all the happiness and success in life ahead.
Happy birthday to you, I wish you get wiser and skinnier and funnier and better in all the good things you developed.
Happy birthday to you, be more patient and stay as you are.
Happy birthday to you, be mature, be closer to Allah.
Happy birthday to you, and all the silent prayer I wish for you (and me, too).
Happy birthday to you, happy getting twenty-two.
Happy birthday to you, happy happy birthday to you!!

No phone call, no cake, no gift. I am sorry if I could not be like many other girlfriends that your friends have. I am sorry I can’t manage to surprise you just like you did back in May. I am sorry I can’t buy you fancy gift.

All I could manage is just that picture above, as simple as ever. I am sorry if it’s not good though, it’s a work of an amateur, in her first attempt to make such edit heheh hopefully you’ll like it.

No sweet writings or sayings, it’s all I could manage to give you. Thank you for your patience and all the efforts you manage to us to stay together. Happy twenty twooooo, we’d same age finally.

Well, last but not least, once more,
Happy belated birthday to you Brosup Arvian Sandhika Pratama!!
Stay as funny as ever, okay?

Sincerely,
yours.

-

There will be time, if you stay long enough with somebody, you begin to trust that person. No matter how long it takes him/her to reply your whatsapp or bbm or messages. No matter how long distance separate you, making it hard for you to meet regularly. There will be time for another and another meet up, if that person is really meant for you. Don’t be too insecure.

Mum always said to take relationship seriously but not too seriously. Prepare for the broken heart that would follow if it is not meant to be. Also prepare your heart to the next stage of relationship if it is going well. It is you yourself that would deal with your life, with all the choices you take.

"There will always somebody care about you. If it’s not, Allah will."